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Remember loved ones as they grieve
The death of a loved one, unemployment, or any other loss can bring a time of difficult transition for the grieving person or family. Here are some exercises to help the grieving person(s):
- Journaling: Encourage the grieving person(s) to express emotions in writing by recording details of events, time with God, reflections, and memories.
- Encourage the grieving person(s) to write a letter or letters to the lost one(s). Let the letters tell how the grieving person(s) feel(s) and what the grieving person(s) is/are experiencing.
- Encourage the grieving person(s) to serve others and be involved in the lives of other people. He/she/they may make a memorial gift to Alabama Baptist Children's Homes or another organization to remember the loved one(s).
When helping the grieving person(s), avoid
- Any sentence that begins with the words "Well, at least..." or that otherwise minimizes the pain and emotions.
- Easy answers to very real and difficult emotional responses.
- Don't ask, "Is there anything I can do for you?". Most people will politely decline. Instead, look for what needs to be done and offer to do that specific thing. The best thing you can do is to listen to the person who is hurting.
- Don't try to answer the question "Why?". Be with someone as a comforter, not as an expert.
- Even when you are almost sure it is true, avoid the temptation to say, "I understand how you feel." Be honest in sharing your feelings and experiences and allow others the time to do the same.
Article contributed by Rod Marshall, Billy Adams, and Cathy McDaniel, counselors at Pathways Professional Counseling, a family ministry of Alabama Baptist Children's Homes. For information, call (205) 945-0037, visit www.pathwaysprofessional.com, or email Rod Marshall.
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