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Deep
relationships, responsibilities keep many youth involved in church
By Rod Marshall, Ed.S., LPC-S,
NCC, RPT-S
Director of Counseling, Alabama Baptist Children's Homes & Family
Ministries
Faith in God and active church
involvement are essential for the well-being of teen-agers, research
shows. The concern, however, is how to keep youth interested in
church when they normally want to separate from their parents and
often question the values and beliefs with which they have been
raised.
Christian researcher George Barna has found that 88 percent of youth
who grow up in church-going households will leave the church at age
18 years and never feel the need to return. How can we prevent this
outcome? There are several steps that we can take:
- Build a strong foundation.
Children raised in church build relationships with people at
church and see non-related adults taking interest in them. When
they have a foundation at church, they most likely want to
continue their involvement when they are teen-agers. Youth who
have not grown up with church being a significant part of their
lives have the most difficulty staying interested.
- Find a church with a vibrant
youth ministry and an intentional ministry to families. Good
family ministry does not occur by accident.
- Check your own level of daily
application of biblical truths. Your youth are likely to only hear
what you say to the degree that they see it impact your daily
life. Every compromise you make might be made 10-fold by your
youth.
- Allow your youth to have some
say in their faith development. You may give them the choice of
whether to go on a youth choir trip or a mission trip. Allow your
youth to have some say (though rarely will they have the deciding
vote) about how your family's involvement in your community of
faith is demonstrated.
- Engage in family ministry
opportunities. Youth, particularly in their early teen years, are
usually enthusiastic about helping others. Set aside one evening a
month to serve at a homeless shelter, visit a nursing home, or
engage, as a family, in other ministry activities. Afterward, go
out for ice cream or hot chocolate and talk about what you
experienced as a family.
- Answer your children and youth's
questions about faith honestly. Tolerate their periods of doubt
and do not overreact. Encourage your youth to be mentored by an
adult in your church with whom your youth can speak when he or she
doesn't feel like talking openly with you. This mentor may be the
minister of youth, a Sunday school teacher, or your youth's church
basketball coach.
- Try not to discourage your
youth's interest in learning about another faith, and avoid
becoming defensive. Explain why you believe the claims of Jesus
Christ to be absolute truth and explain why you have chosen to
follow Christ and his teachings. Try not to be critical of other
faith traditions.
- Try not to allow faith to be an
area of power struggles.
- Pray for your children and youth
daily: pray aloud in their presence, aloud in your personal quiet
time, and silently. Pray without ceasing. Decide that every time
you see someone with a cell phone, (Youth love cell phones for
some unknown reason.) that will be your cue to pray for your youth
and to pray that you can be used to help facilitate their growth
into adulthood.
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